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May 23rd, 2012
11:51 pm - In which the DM tries to elicit sympathy for a vanquished foe.
The old man stumbled in the wet grass, finally staggering to a halt, and sank to his knees, burying his face in his hands. Heartbroken, he had trouble even remembering to breathe, and he choked through his tears in short, tearing gasps.
"My son- !"
Through his mind twirled image after image. Memories of hefting his young son on his shoulders in the afternoon sunlight, of a child's laughter; and later remembrances of the boy grown, them repairing the cart side by side, of meals taken together in the quiet inn before dawn, the young man's smile when he spoke of the sea.
The sea...
Long ago, the old man had been young, and fell in love with a girl in a fishing village. She had a smile just for him, which glowed like the night sky when thin clouds catch the full moon's light and soft, silver radiance hides the deep vault of the sky. She gave him a child, and died of it, and he loved the boy doubly for both being his own flesh and having her essence as well. They lived there, in the little house overlooking the waves, for some years, the father a landsman by nature and working in the town, but the boy growing up as much a part of the sea as she had been.
He hadn't hated the sea back then, but it was a painful, constant presence that he couldn't accept, because the only other presence, apart from his son's, that he wanted in his life was no more.
So at last he packed up their life by the coast and they moved inland. He bought a small inn by the road, and the boy swallowed his tears, for he loved his father too - but he dreamed of the sea.
The years passed - looking back, how quickly they seemed to have gone by! - and the man and boy had each other, and were happy. But when the boy had finally grown, he could no longer resist that siren call, and traded his father's solid roof and sturdy walls for a yard overhead that kept out no rain, and a wooden shell beneath his feet that never stopped moving.
His son often came back to visit, and when he would step through the door of his father's inn it was for the old man like the sun burning away a morning fog.
And then the message came. His son had drowned, his boat capsized in a winter storm, dashed to splinters on a rocky promontory everyone agreed was cursed. The fisherman, having delivered the ill news, left, shaking his head at the shattered look on the old man's face.
The old man wept on the ground. He barely remembered heading into the hills; directionless, his feet had moved without his conscious mind being aware of it. At some point night had fallen, and the hills were winter-cold and he was without his coat. None of this mattered to him.
His head felt near to splitting with grief. He had had no chance to bid his son farewell, and there was not even a body to be buried! Why his son, and not him? Why was he left alone, he an old man with no other family? He cursed the sea for taking his child. He told himself and anyone listening that he would give anything, anything, to have his son back, to see him again, to embrace him and see that glowing smile.
A heavy, dragging step on the path finally filtered through his haze of misery, and the old man swallowed and looked up. The night was dark, the moon dim and the stars hidden behind heavy clouds. A solitary figure loomed in the shadows, menacing even to him in his abject grief, and he shrank back. A waft of fetid air like stagnant saltwater and rotting shellfish reached his nose, and the shadow glistened damply under what feeble moonlight there was. A hand draped in seaweed reached out to support the figure against a stone as it bent double, and the old man stared with horror into the blank, gaping, dead face as it breathed a single word in sepulchral tones.
"...father..."
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April 20th, 2012
04:24 pm - Pathfinder Campaign World-building: Calendar
Perhaps of interest to the players, here is the calendar system being used in Caldonia.
The year is divided up into twelve months of 30 days each, divided into three 10-day 'weeks'. The months are named after the deities whose domains are closely related to the time in question. Since the solar year takes 364 days, every three years a 12-day leap period gets added in after the last month of the year - this realigns the calendar year with celestial events like the solstices and the full moon (lunar cycle lasts 27 days). Thus, the first year in the three-year leap cycle always begins on the winter solstice and with a full moon. The months are named as follows:
Arhu Khionet (winter) - solstice on the 1st, 5th, or 9th Arhu Oreithyet (winter) Arhu Galatayet (spring) Arhu Asklepyet (spring) - equinox on the 2nd, 6th, or 10th Arhu Khloriste (spring) Arhu Amerat (summer) Arhu Jaduste (summer) - solstice on the 3rd, 7th, or 11th Arhu Perseste (summer) Arhu Karmanet (autumn) Arhu Isistet (autumn) - equinox on the 4th, 8th, or 12th Arhu Let (autumn) Arhu Rhadamante (winter) {every three years: Diru Serapiste}
The leap period is dedicated to Serapis, but each deity, no matter how minor, has a particular day during this period when they can communicate with their followers directly, without the need for clergy as intermediaries.
(Etymology note: The terms for month (arhu) and intercalary period (diru) are taken from Akkadian, the language spoken in Babylon, whose calendar I used as a jumping-off point for coming up with this one. In terms of the game world, these words belong to a dead language spoken during or before the Allekheirn Empire, which still has a few lexical hold-outs like calendar terms, or other instances where extant civilization owes some sort of technological or cultural innovation to them - similar to how we got 'paper' from 'papyrus'. The word-final -te or -t is a fabricated indicator of the genitive case determined by whether the noun ends in a vowel or consonant (though please enjoy the irregularity in Leto becoming Let and Isis becoming Isistet - Elf is to thank for reminding me that irregularity adds flavor to language, and also she picked out all the gods for each month)). I can forgive someone thinking the declensions were based on grammatical gender - but no, that would be far too much work. No grammatical gender in my fantasy languages, thankyouverymuch.)
(Also, because this is a fantasy world, there's none of this "years are actually fractions of a second shorter/longer than X number of calendar days, requiring adjustment in a few thousand years" nonsense. Duration of the solar year is conveniently regular, which might bore astronomers, but makes my job far easier.)
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March 3rd, 2012
12:22 am - Epistolary
23 Arhu Galatayet, C.E. 402 (Brightmoon) Starfall, northwestern Ajmere Nydaril Gwephariss, Initiate of the Third Circle
Esteemed senior magi of the Society for the Advancement of Planar Understanding,
I am writing to inform you of further developments as relate to my preliminary report dated the fifth of Arhu Galatayet of this year, regarding Unclassified Arcane Object 0403402NΓ1α.
As you may recall, UAO-0403402NΓ1α was discovered at a bazaar in Highport, on the fourth of Arhu Galatayet. Its magical signature displays constant strong auras of Abjuration, Necromancy, and Transmutation, as well as a weak aura of Enchantment that faded with further analysis. Upon questioning the merchant from whose shop UAO-0403402NΓ1α was acquired, there is also reason to suspect it is capable of affecting the life-force of living things who handle it, and lore surrounding the item additionally suggests a potential for mental compulsion.
Its physical form is that of a colorless quartz-like mineral worked into a pentaprism. It weighs 347.7 grams and is affixed to a fine silver chain as if it were a mundane pendant.
UAO-0403402NΓ1α was stolen from my workshop on the seventh of Arhu Galatayet by a halfling male. The theft was witnessed by my eidolon, and I was able to view the thief via sensory link. The intruder's behavior was curious; he was focused on absconding with UAO-0403402NΓ1α to the exclusion of any interest in other of my property. With the aid of my eidolon, the thief was tracked south to the town of Starfall, where his scent trail was lost.
My physical limitations are known to the Ninth Circle. Due to the need to assume a delay-sensitive timeline when dealing with an unknown arcane object's potential to inflict calamity outside of proper containment, I reference Society Code Part IV, Title I, Chapter 270, Section 25: "When an initiate is unable to personally discharge their responsibilities as regard dangerous magical items due to injury, illness, disability, or death, and if assistance from another Society member(s) is unobtainable, an initiate is permitted to exercise their judgment in the outsourcing of non-Society labor to fulfill those responsibilities."
I have hired the first qualified individuals available locally, a set of toughs whose competence in combat was demonstrated to my satisfaction, to continue tracking down the thief and to retrieve UAO-0403402NΓ1α. (Attached you will find the standard petition for their consultation fee on a Society matter to be deducted from my annual membership dues.)
I will of course provide the Ninth Circle with additional updates as the situation develops. I have every confidence that the hired consultants will prove successful in detaining the thief and retrieving UAO-0403402NΓ1α. In the event, I am informing the Ninth Circle of my intent to resubmit my request for the reference volumes specified in my correspondence of the fifth of Arhu Galatayet, and it is my hope that the Circle will afford heightened consideration to my forthcoming grant proposal for the continued study of UAO-0403402NΓ1α.
Yours respectfully, and in my own hand, Nydaril Gwephariss Initiate of the Third Circle
~.~.~.~.~.
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January 2nd, 2012
01:36 pm - Captain Kirk Shirtless Count
Shatner-as-Kirk is so ridiculous, it's awesome. Let's see how many times he can manage to get out of his clothing. Also to be updated as I go:
1-02, "The Corbomite Maneuver" - First shot of Kirk is of him taking a medical exam shirtless. (However, at 0:8:27, you get a perfectly clear view of Scotty's right hand!)
1-06, "The Naked Time" (ha ha) - McCoy tears the shoulder of Kirk's shirt open to give him an injection. (Also, Sulu runs around shirtless and with a fencing foil in this one. George Takei rocks my socks.)
1-07, "Charlie X" - Kirk tries teaching the little punk Charlie how to fight, Charlie wears a red karate gi, and Kirk wears only pants.
1-09, "What Are Little Girls Made Of?" - Kirk lays, ostensibly naked, with the large restraint across his waist censoring everything we don't want to see, on a large turntable.
1-11, "Miri" - Kirk rips his sleeves open to show his funky blue lesions to the kids. His collar got torn a little too at some point I didn't catch.
1-14, "Court Martial" - In an episode whose story seems the most unexciting of all, Kirk manages to absolutely shred his clothing while fighting a disgruntled crew member in the engine room.
1-17, "Shore Leave" - Kirk tears most of his shirt off in a brawl that lasted way too long.
(1-19, "Arena" - Despite this being that hilarious episode where Kirk fights the lizard-man, and makes a primitive hand cannon out of bamboo and surface minerals, he doesn't even tear a seam. I am amazed.)
2-05, "Amok Time" - Spock slices Kirk's shirt open with a fun little weapon that I'd like to have my own self.
2-15, "Journey to Babel" - Kirk manages to get a shot of him in his quarters, shirtless, as well as a couple shots with just a chest bandage after being stabbed. Will it never end?
2-16, "A Private Little War" - While running around planetside in native garb, there is a disquieting discrepancy between McCoy's fully-laced jerkin, and Kirk's rather loose one.
2-17, "The Gamesters of Triskelion" - Kirk spends most of the episode in a slave harness. This was an episode whose plot read rather uncomfortably like somebody's rape fantasy. Ew. (Yet we do get to hear McCoy tell Spock he's out of his Vulcan mind, and Kirk gets an alien woman named Shahna to ask, "What is Love?", so it's all okay.) And also, this episode wins "best comment on Youtube": "i love whenever kirk gets in some sort of physical altercation his shirt always gets torn in the same place from the neck down to the chest so his so his man-breast is on display.....little somethin' for the ladies.....we get a myriad of nameless beautiful women in ass-cut miniskirts and dark stockings.....you get william shattner's right nipple....a fair exchange indeed!" -CatzGNA This episode fails, however, with the ridiculous concept of directed evolution that appears so often in these episodes. Come the fuck on, people, Lamarck was debunked last century.
2-23, "Patterns of Force" - In yet another script with an Earth-analogue planet with sets borrowed from another genre, the intrepid captain and his straight man first officer find themselves on the Nazi planet. The daring duo is arrested and beaten, shirtless, of course, in the blandest interrogation scene ever. This episode's redeeming qualities include Spock's green blood makeup job, McCoy in a Gestapo colonel's uniform, and a refreshing absence of Kirk managing to kiss anybody.
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January 1st, 2012
11:33 pm - Captain Kirk Kiss Count
So yeah, I'm going through and watching The Original Series. I was surprised to find that Kirk doesn't end up getting some in every episode - just most of them. And yeah, I knew how sexist this series can be, I just chose to forget it. Sigh. To be updated as I go:
1-04, "The Enemy Within" - Kirk's embodied evil half forces a kiss from Yeoman Rand. (And here we have a delightful little scene where Rand, tear-streaked, tells Spock and McCoy how she wouldn't have reported the incident on her own because 'she didn't want to make trouble for him'. Social justification of avoiding reporting rape and attempted rape to the authorities, how nice.)
1-06, "The Naked Time" - Overcome by the disease that's sweeping the ship, Kirk gets really emo about wanting to feel a girl right then and there. Oh, wretched duty that keeps him from jumping on his female crewmen !
1-09, "What Are Little Girls Made Of?" - Kirk kisses, and tries to seduce, an android named Andrea.
1-10, "Dagger of the Mind" - A hypnotized Kirk imagines kissing the most useless psychiatrist I've ever seen. And then he kisses her for real.
1-11, "Miri" - The guy shamelessly flirts with a 14-year-old girl named Miri for the whole episode. And fans everywhere grimace and try to forget about this one.
1-14, "Court Martial" - Kirk meets an old girlfriend, and yep, they kiss.
1-17, "Shore Leave" - Kirk gets an attractive yeoman to work a kink out of his spine.
1-28, "City On The Edge Of Forever" - It's hard to believe it's been this long since Kirk tried to get into someone's pants- I mean, into someone's skirt. Tragically, he "falls in love" with doomed Edith. Spit is duly swapped.
2-01, "Catspaw" - Kirk tries to seduce the funky alien sorceress, Sylvia.
2-10, "Mirror, Mirror" - In a parallel universe, Kirk sucks face with alternate-Kirk's ambitious concubine, Marlena. (Her official "title" appears to be "Captain's woman". Judging by the number of pretty cabin boys kept by seafaring captains throughout Earth's history, one has to wonder if there is also the "Captain's man". But oh wait, I forgot - homosexuality didn't exist until 1980 or so, of course. -_- ) Later, back in canon-universe, Kirk spies the recent transfer Lieutenant Moreau, and makes a really creepy statement to Spock about how he thinks he "could become... friends," with his crewmember. Ugh.
2-14, "Bread and Circuses" - Kirk reluctantly boinks a slave named Drusilla. When Spock later asks what the Captain has been up to while he was away from him and McCoy, Drusilla is dismissed with, "They threw me a few curves". (Also, in other kissing headlines, I would have sworn that Spock and McCoy were going to start tearing each others' clothes off in that prison cell shot, hahaha. Bonus points: unless I missed one, this is the first episode with, "Green-blooded hobgoblin!") And every time I think we might be past the worst of the ridiculously heavy-handed religious metaphors in this show, the damn thing has to go and prove me wrong.
2-17, "The Gamesters of Triskelion" - Kirk does his best to charm the alien woman Shahna. I think you can see where this is going.
2-21, "By Any Other Name" - To save the crew, all the important cast members (i.e., the white, male, and Anglo-Saxon ones) must 'overstimulate' the alien invaders from Andromeda who took on human form for convenience. Kirk, of course, calls dibs on Kelinda, the alien who looks like an attractive woman. When he gets into banter about, "Well, there are better things for men and women to do [than fight]", and she asks, "Such as?", you can almost see Kirk's thought bubble go, It's really going to be this easy? He's delightfully (to the viewer) poleaxed when - after a kiss, of course - she goes, "Oh, you're trying to seduce me." He stalks out, offense in every inch of him, when it initially fails to work.
2-22, "Return to Tomorrow" - While their bodies are occupied by the consciousnesses of two incorporeal superbeings, Kirk/Sargon and Dr. Muhall/Thalassa enjoy some oral contact.
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11:16 pm - Captain Kirk Conundrum Count
Let's see how many times Kirk logicks a computer to death. To be updated as I go.
1-10, "Dagger of the Mind" - Kirk and Nurse Chapel are kidnapped by an android with some guy's consciousness copied into it. Kirk shames it into destroying itself. Not quite the logic-death, but close.
1-22, "The Return of the Archons" - Kirk convinces a computer who enforces "good" on its planet that it is "the evil". Computer asplode.
2-08, "The Changeling" - This was a remarkably shitty episode. It also seems to have had much of its plot filched for the first Star Trek movie. The ship meets a ridiculous powered-up probe who's been altered by some other being into going around and "sterilizing imperfections". Kirk convinces it that it is itself imperfect. Probe goes boom.
2-10, "Mirror, Mirror" - Not quite a computer, but Kirk does try to get alternate-Spock to admit that a barbaric empire is logically doomed to failure.
2-12, "I, Mudd" - The mother of all Kirk Conundrum episodes. It's funny how super-intelligent races of beings can't program their service-sector robot slaves to handle contradictions. Kirk and crew are cheerful goofballs and confuse the robots - who quite sincerely only wanted to help - into circuit meltdown. I left this episode feeling sorry for the androids, who were rather more intelligent than humans are. (And also rolling my eyes at the strong undercurrent of "women exist to be controlled by men" evidenced by the subservient female androids and Mudd's android replica of his wife to control. And why on Earth would an alien race from the Andromeda galaxy even make man-robots and woman-robots? The universally-assumed gender dichotomy in every blinking one of these episodes is really starting to get on my nerves. Pfaugh. The next episode, at least, is the tribble one, so I'll get to be refreshed by a race of critters with no sexual dichotomy at all. yay!)
2-24, "The Ultimate Computer" - Kirk convinces the M-5 supercomputer, which was installed to control the Enterprise, to allow itself to be destroyed after it, in Kirk's words, "committed murder" by blowing up another ship during wargames.
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July 26th, 2011
09:15 pm - Iconz
I cannot believe I don't have any Pokemon icons for Livejournal yet. What the hell is wrong with me?
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November 19th, 2010
12:39 pm - Brought to you by coffee number two I am declaring today to be Back Up Your Data and Eat More Fruit Day.
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April 20th, 2010
08:45 pm
This is a roundabout poke for Liz, in a completely non-demanding way. She totally said we could poke her.
Keep arting! Here is encouragement! And understanding if you just haven't had a chance. But pokes nonetheless!
If you need ideas, I submit that there are never too many girl warrior gnomes in the world. With green hair, of course.
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April 17th, 2010
05:20 pm - Since I'm still a flake,
Once I upgrade my computer to the point where it can run Neverwinter Nights 2 (sob), we should totally all try and do multiplayer together. It's on sale now for $10 with the first expansion, even, if you don't already have it. Think this would be fun?
Course, it'll be a bit before I've completed my new computer. And I'd still like to try and run live games again after this semester.
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